I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
