are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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