Heybabeimwearingurpanties
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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