i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
