so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
