America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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