I cannot find my penis.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
