yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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