Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
