I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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