So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
