i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize