Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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