I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
