After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I need water and some morals
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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