Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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