if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize