And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
