Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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