dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
