You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
