im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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