your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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