Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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