I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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