I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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