did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
