Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize