i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize