I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
