I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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