Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
