I am in a vortex of obligation.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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