It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
