Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
