So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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