She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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