New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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