Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
