hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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