We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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