oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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