Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
