Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
