Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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