Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
