my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
