Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
