I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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