Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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