YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
