WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize