She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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