she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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