youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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