holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
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I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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