Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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