got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
