Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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