You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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