Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
