I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
