Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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