69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
bring money and cleavage
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize