We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
