I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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