Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
