We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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