this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
