you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
