I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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