yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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