So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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