I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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