You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
